From the archives

Ryan makes the first move as the league discovers its level

An opening statement at the top, a crowded chasing pack and an immediate lesson in the cruelty of the substitutes’ bench.

The opening table

Reconstructed from the ten available GW01 event histories. This is an archive edition, not a newsletter published at the time; the original league membership snapshot is unavailable.

On a small screen, swipe the table sideways to see every column.

#	TEAM / MANAGER	GW1	TOTAL	BENCH
1	RDRed Djed Redemption Ryan Hindle	78	78	1
2	sendmetocoventry Ian Gpowell	60	60	1
3	Park the Bus Hailey Hindle	55	55	14
4	TBThe Balon D'orgus Dela Avle	52	52	3
5	Green Street United Robert Ayres	50	50	3
6	AABCDEFC Tineka Bishop	46	46	7
7	This is the Wirtz! Ivo Ferreira	45	45	11
8	Boo Tottenham Aubrey Hindle	40	40	0
9	CVD FC Candace Van Damme	35	35	16
10	MAMikel Arteta's Army Peter Mossad	28	28	0

No GW01 hits were recorded, so gross and net scores are identical. Names and badges use the available later collector record.

Ryan gets his statement in early

Before the running jokes had acquired any mileage, Ryan Hindle gave the league its first proper target. Red Djed Redemption emerged from the opening round with the sort of advantage that encourages a manager to keep checking the table for no practical reason whatsoever. An 18-point lead after one Gameweek is not a title challenge settled. It is, however, an excellent excuse to become temporarily unbearable.

The scale of the start matters more than the mere fact of being first. Ryan cleared the overall FPL average by 28 points, while the nearest pursuit was led by Ian Gpowell’s sendmetocoventry. Most of the field was still establishing whether its pre-season confidence had survived contact with football. Ryan had already found enough breathing room to enjoy everybody else’s discomfort.

Ian’s opening effort was good enough to be taken seriously without provoking an emergency league meeting. Hailey Hindle followed in third, with Dela Avle tucked in behind her. That is a perfectly respectable chasing group, though they could be forgiven for wondering why the first weekend had already come with a compulsory uphill section.

Green Street United: reassuringly average

The Commissioner opened with exactly the overall FPL average: 50. Not approximately. Not close enough for a favourable rounding decision. Precisely the benchmark. For a man responsible for overseeing the league, it was an admirably literal commitment to occupying the middle ground.

Green Street United sat fifth in the reconstructed order, close enough to Dela and Hailey to consider the opening salvageable, but already a long way behind Ryan. There was no transfer bill and little stranded on the bench to explain the gap. Rob’s starting selection had simply delivered a thoroughly ordinary opening return.

It is the sort of result that earns a measured nod rather than applause: nobody needs to tear up the plans, but nobody should be putting the performance on the club’s promotional material either. The Commissioner began the season with all the authority of a man demonstrating where the average line is.

A queue forms behind the respectable places

Tineka Bishop edged Ivo Ferreira in the narrowest contest of the opening round, leaving ABCDEFC just ahead of This is the Wirtz! There was no grand gulf in class to be announced here. One point separated them, which is quite enough for bragging rights and nowhere near enough to justify confidence.

Aubrey Hindle’s Boo Tottenham started further back, with Candace Van Damme’s CVD FC behind him. Both had ground to recover, but their weekends left rather different kinds of irritation. Aubrey had nothing recorded on the bench; Candace had rather more reason to stare at the substitutes and reconsider how the opening team sheet had come together.

At the foot of this ten-manager reconstruction, Peter Mossad endured the sort of start that makes the phrase “a long season” sound less like reassurance and more like a threat. Mikel Arteta’s Army had managed barely more than half the overall average. It was only the opening round, but the army could have used a considerably more convincing parade.

The bench opens its account

Candace’s opening problem was not confined to the points she scored. It was the 16 recorded on her bench, the highest reserve total among these ten managers. That does not mean all 16 could legally have been added to her XI; the goalkeeper slot and formation rules do not disappear just because the resulting arithmetic would be comforting. It does mean her squad offered more than the selected side delivered.

Hailey had a substantial reserve return of her own and still finished near the front. Ivo also had useful points left outside the scoring side. Each could reasonably feel there was something unfinished about the weekend, although the surviving history cannot tell us which individual selection decision deserves the strongest language.

Aubrey and Peter, meanwhile, recorded zero bench points. An empty reserve score can look wonderfully efficient until you inspect the starting total. There is a difference between extracting everything from a productive squad and discovering the bench has no consolation to offer.

No invoices, no emergency buttons

The available histories record no GW01 transfer hits and no GW01 chips for these ten managers. This opening comparison therefore needs no accounting adjustments: what appears in the weekly column is what went into the total.

That also removes two familiar lines from the excuses department. Nobody in this group can attribute their opening position to an expensive rebuild or a chip that failed to deliver. The first selections did the talking, with varying degrees of eloquence. Captaincy and individual-player verdicts must wait: the surviving files do not contain the GW01 picks, and borrowing a later team sheet would turn an archive into fiction.

The archive honours

These are retrospective selections for this edition, not additions to the established season honours record. The original honours baseline still begins in GW02.

On a small screen, swipe the table sideways to see every column.

Before the late arrivals

Paul Clark and Steve Fletcher have no GW01 entry in the supplied histories; both begin in GW02. They therefore sit outside this table rather than being assigned invented zero-point performances. Their entrance belongs to the next chapter. Portia and Angelo’s later joining records likewise have no place in the opening-week cast.

For the managers with an opening score, the immediate task was straightforward enough. Ryan had something worth protecting. Ian and Hailey had credible starts to build upon. Dela and Rob could see the chasing group within reach, while the lower half had every incentive to stop treating August optimism as a substitute for points.

One round cannot tell us who will win the league. It can tell us who gets to enjoy the first week of looking down on everybody else. Ryan had earned that privilege. The rest had a full season in which to make him regret enjoying it.